Today is a Saturday. I've been finding Saturdays quite hard recently due to me having my psychotherapy on a Friday. I feel tired and muddled (prob because it's the end of a long busy week with the kids and school etc too). I try to keep looking out for the little things to keep me on track.....
1) The kids infectious laughs......This always makes me smile, brings me to tears sometimes. Just knowing they're is that hope and innocence in life somewhere. They're so young and naive anyway and I love that. I love that they don't understand why mummy is 'broken' or 'poorly' or know there is no pain in life.
2) Looking at the sky in the morning when I open the kitchen window. I do this most mornings when I go downstairs to put the kettle on. As I fill it up I overlook the garden and the street to the side of us, I open the window to feel the fresh air on my face and to cool down. There's a gap in the houses in which I can see the church spire and the morning sky. I normally find peace in looking at the sky and been mindful about the colour, clouds, sun rising, moon going in, birds, birds tweeting, church bells ringing and anything else going on. I like to start the day like this and just have faith knowing that whatever challenges the day brings, good or bad, that the sun will set tonight and the sky will be beautiful, and tommorow the sun will rise again.
3) I have a family, simply just that. I have a family and I'm loved.
4) I am making small changes and can see the bigger picture. Even as little as 6 months ago, I had the ability to distract and delude but not to rationalise in these moments when I'm down. Now I see that I may be struggling in the moment but this isn't always going to be as painful or hard and I'm already making the changes to get past this.
5) I am in recovery. I kind of get a buzz from this now, where as it used to scare the crap out of me and I'd jump 1000000steps back. I am getting better and like the last couple of years this will be a memory of the past. Massively. I think today this gives me the most hope out of all of the above. It's ok to be in recovery and it's ok to succeed and live again.
1) The kids infectious laughs......This always makes me smile, brings me to tears sometimes. Just knowing they're is that hope and innocence in life somewhere. They're so young and naive anyway and I love that. I love that they don't understand why mummy is 'broken' or 'poorly' or know there is no pain in life.
2) Looking at the sky in the morning when I open the kitchen window. I do this most mornings when I go downstairs to put the kettle on. As I fill it up I overlook the garden and the street to the side of us, I open the window to feel the fresh air on my face and to cool down. There's a gap in the houses in which I can see the church spire and the morning sky. I normally find peace in looking at the sky and been mindful about the colour, clouds, sun rising, moon going in, birds, birds tweeting, church bells ringing and anything else going on. I like to start the day like this and just have faith knowing that whatever challenges the day brings, good or bad, that the sun will set tonight and the sky will be beautiful, and tommorow the sun will rise again.
3) I have a family, simply just that. I have a family and I'm loved.
4) I am making small changes and can see the bigger picture. Even as little as 6 months ago, I had the ability to distract and delude but not to rationalise in these moments when I'm down. Now I see that I may be struggling in the moment but this isn't always going to be as painful or hard and I'm already making the changes to get past this.
5) I am in recovery. I kind of get a buzz from this now, where as it used to scare the crap out of me and I'd jump 1000000steps back. I am getting better and like the last couple of years this will be a memory of the past. Massively. I think today this gives me the most hope out of all of the above. It's ok to be in recovery and it's ok to succeed and live again.
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