I met up with one of my friends last week. It was a good friend, if you come from the skating world you'll know that people aren't just friends...they become family. So I met with Lucy who is like my little sister! We had the same coaches growing up, the same training times and we went to competitions/camps together and were basically family. My coaches were like my mum and dad. Whenever I see the people I grew up with or hear from them I feel at home....at peace.
Lee once asked me why I had so many friends on Facebook. He asked me to tell him who they were as he thought they were just people I'd added to make me look good! They are my wider skating family, I know each of them and used to look forward to going to events/camps to meet up with them. I just can't explain the experience you have as a child in that environment, it's amazing. I'd wish any of my children to have the same experience. Yes it's about what goes on on the ice too and the actual physical training.
That again is your world. You train before school, after school, on a weekend and you live, breath and eat figure skating.....because you want too. I was lucky growing up that I did it because I wanted too. I wasn't pushed by my mum or dad, i was supported yes but not pushed.
So when you loose this and stop skating, what happens? I recently read an article and it clicked. Skating is part of the reason I struggle daily. Not the anorexia side and not the chaos side. But it contributes to the fact that I'm feeling like somethings missing and I'm trying to fill it. It's because I'm not skating.
Yes I wasn't Sasha Cohen but it was my life and I even miss the pressure to perform and the nerves before a competition. I long to be a kid again and skating....and succeeding.
I kind of feel that although skating wouldn't fix my problems, far from it. But I believe it would help stabilise me and enable me to be happier. Yes the kids and Lee make me happy, very happy. They keep me focused but it's not the same controlled focus that I've grown up learning. It's not what I have been able to keep my other issues stable and under lock with.
I'm sure any skater/sports person would agree or relate. Whether you have a mental health issue or not. I've kind of made the link really that although my problems started when I was skating and competing, they have become chronic and life limiting since I left the ice behind.
I managed to keep things under wrap for a few years, with things peaking at points but me hiding it after. I hid behind work and that became my 'skating'. Planning a wedding, renovating a house, moving houses, planning a family became my 'skating'. Then when it got too much to hide anymore it became so bad that I couldn't work and my world fell apart. Things became too much to hide when dad and my brother died. Everything overspilled......If i was skating would this have made things better? Probably, because that's who Claire is. Claire has always been a skater. That was me. I lost my identity and motivation for life. My family have kept me going though and I'm recovering bit by bit.
The ice is my home. Cheesy I know. When i'm there with my 'family' I feel like I'm connected and safe.
http://web.icenetwork.com/news/2016/07/19/190304204?tcid=fb_share
Lee once asked me why I had so many friends on Facebook. He asked me to tell him who they were as he thought they were just people I'd added to make me look good! They are my wider skating family, I know each of them and used to look forward to going to events/camps to meet up with them. I just can't explain the experience you have as a child in that environment, it's amazing. I'd wish any of my children to have the same experience. Yes it's about what goes on on the ice too and the actual physical training.
That again is your world. You train before school, after school, on a weekend and you live, breath and eat figure skating.....because you want too. I was lucky growing up that I did it because I wanted too. I wasn't pushed by my mum or dad, i was supported yes but not pushed.
So when you loose this and stop skating, what happens? I recently read an article and it clicked. Skating is part of the reason I struggle daily. Not the anorexia side and not the chaos side. But it contributes to the fact that I'm feeling like somethings missing and I'm trying to fill it. It's because I'm not skating.
Yes I wasn't Sasha Cohen but it was my life and I even miss the pressure to perform and the nerves before a competition. I long to be a kid again and skating....and succeeding.
I kind of feel that although skating wouldn't fix my problems, far from it. But I believe it would help stabilise me and enable me to be happier. Yes the kids and Lee make me happy, very happy. They keep me focused but it's not the same controlled focus that I've grown up learning. It's not what I have been able to keep my other issues stable and under lock with.
I'm sure any skater/sports person would agree or relate. Whether you have a mental health issue or not. I've kind of made the link really that although my problems started when I was skating and competing, they have become chronic and life limiting since I left the ice behind.
I managed to keep things under wrap for a few years, with things peaking at points but me hiding it after. I hid behind work and that became my 'skating'. Planning a wedding, renovating a house, moving houses, planning a family became my 'skating'. Then when it got too much to hide anymore it became so bad that I couldn't work and my world fell apart. Things became too much to hide when dad and my brother died. Everything overspilled......If i was skating would this have made things better? Probably, because that's who Claire is. Claire has always been a skater. That was me. I lost my identity and motivation for life. My family have kept me going though and I'm recovering bit by bit.
The ice is my home. Cheesy I know. When i'm there with my 'family' I feel like I'm connected and safe.
http://web.icenetwork.com/news/2016/07/19/190304204?tcid=fb_share
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