I'm currently in inpatient treatment and have been spending alot of time pondering over why i'm in here when I don't look like I need to be! My body image is massively screwed up and something I constantly worry about. Lastnight a girl in here came to see me, she sat on my bed and came out with these wise words....I've rewritten them to apply to me.....this is todays journal entry for me.....
It's like been colour blind. If you're colour blind and you see orange, you think it's orange because you see it but you know it's colour blind and therefore have to trust others to tell you what it is really. It's the same with anorexia....part of the anorexia is distortion, just like been colour blind.
One thing you can be sure of is if you see a colour you can't change it but you can trust others and accept it.
My diagnosis is anorexia, I may not see anything when I look in the mirror but a fat sausage but I need to accept that this is distortion (which is part of the diagnosis)! It's knowing that what I see is messed up. All the illness does is lie. Anorexia doesn't and will never tell me the truth.
xxxxxxx
Comments
Post a Comment